Today.. a rather fulfilling and fun day. Got to bond better with o6so6.. 3/4 of the girls and all the guys I can remember. Hehe. PW was scary, Li Nan actually has a better AQ than I do - failure failure - and I was probably stoning during maths. Before someone smacks me, I have to mention that I did understand most of what the teacher was saying. Hah! Chem teacher not around so we slacked in the canteen until 2pm. Darn funny. Got to know this group of girls. All super sarcastic and lame.. although their jokes quite cheenah but still funny. Hahaha. And I don't know how people can think I'm Malay -.- Gave me some strange new name. Heh.

Chinese was chao sian. Found a New Creation girl though. And an ex-City Harvester. PE time took height and weight. I SHRANK BY 2CM AND PUT ON 2KG! Haha.

Saw that og-mate of mine a lot of times today. Wonder why he got so many breaks de. Haha slacker.

Also kachao-ed Shihua and Yixian for awhile.. But then it felt a bit.. extra being there after awhile ;) Hahaha. But don't know la. Yixian's going to be drawing our school logo hahaha. Of course can expect something good..

Then went bus-stop. Initial plan was to go home and sleep. But then I met my PAE o6so5 classmates!! Yay! I was hungry so we went to CCK macs to eat.. but there got no milkshake so we walked to Lot 1. Haha darn funny. Michelle brought us to United Uniform opposite the mosque first to get our $4 ties. Hehe. Then we found a playground, stopped to play on the swings, super no childhood lar.

Finally reached Lot 1.. went Long John's to makan. Hahaha. Coke was so diluted, cheated my money. Tried to beat their Puzzle Bobble hi-score haha. Then Sihui was making her 'milkshake'. Looked like vomit. Went Bata to buy shoelaces! Hehe. Sihui kept pressing the fluffy bedroom slippers -.-

Thank You Father for a great day!! It took awhile to break the ice, but it's just going to get more fun from now on. Somehow I feel more blessed now that I was put into o6so6.. Because even though my PAE classmates have each other, they don't feel very happy in their class. Full of muggers, they complain. And dao people who don't really have similiar interests. Hehe. Guess it was all for good after all =)

I love You!! And thank You for guiding me through..

Today was like being on a rollercoaster of emotions. Woke up bright and happy, ready to seize the day, make new friends. School started out great, but slowly through the day I started to get more downcast and sian-ed. Had a good chemistry practical though - I think I'm finally getting the hang of titration. At the end of the day I had good company, and I guess it brought my mood back on track again.

Thank you weirdo for being there for me!!

And on the bus home, even as I thought about another long day at school tomorrow, I was praying for guidance and leading, for divine favour, for adaptability and determination, and God's peace started to flood through. I know it's going to get better, and Father, that You're always there for me!

Tomorrow's going to be a better day =)

Haha. I've been rather grumpy the whole day. No reason really. Just one of those days. And naturally when I'm in a bad mood, I rant! Hehe.

Had a good cell meeting today. Faith, supernatural results, bonuses of God, woohoo! Got my hair cut - I miss the rest of my hair, hehe - and went home.

One of the piano scales I had the most trouble playing back when I was still learning, was the G# minor scale. The minor scales were nice to play though. They had that mysterious, questioningly eerie, and gloomy tone that tinged the entire scale. Very nice. In G# minor, there are 5 sharps, and one double sharp. The only minor scale to have a double sharp. Despite it's distinction in the written scale, when you play it out, it still generally sounds like the other minor scales. Somehow or another it can almost be likenned to life. You have something that the others don't, just a subtle difference, you appear to be the same, yet somehow you are difficult to understand.

Somehow I feel like when I'm not in a good mood, I have a deeper pool of creativity to tap into.

Haha.

I'm sleepy =|

Ouch.

Anyway..

I feel like a lazy pig today =p

And they put me in o6so6 =(

It's weird because I appealed out to o6so1.. to join the majority of my previous classmates. What's more I appealed to join the MCB combination. So why did the school change my class when the combination remains the same..?

Oh well. It's for a purpose la. At least they sound nice so far. And at least got Wen Er ;p

And the pjc uniform looks weird on me.

Hehehehe.

The shirt was a bit too big.. I now realize.. But the skirt was okay.. getting it altered a bit. My mum was commenting I looked like some paikia's girlfriend -.- Sheesh. Nvm la.. let you guys laugh on Monday..

There's a strange ringing sound coming from the computer..

Cell tomorrow! I wonder if we're still making that pizza..

Haha.

This little light of mine.. I'm going to let it shine, let it shine..

Father You're everything to me.. =)

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my hand inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

_{'Til Kingdom Come, Coldplay}

Hahaha. It's truly mind-boggling.

Jesus loves me this I know
for the bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong
they are weak but He is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Don't you just love those Sunday school songs?

Farewell 2005

Teachers' Day

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"If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you'll be at rest."

- _{Corrie ten Boom}

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You feel alone sometimes. Sure, you look and maybe sound like everyone else, but you don't feel very much like everyone else. Like there's something else undescribable inside you that you feel as though everybody else won't understand.

And this thing that exists inside you.. it doesn't have words to properly describe.. it doesn't even have an imaginable form.. It's just a black mess inside you that contributes to your character and personality. It's not a bad thing, it's not a good thing, it just sets you apart.

When this black mess starts acting up and you feel like the world's caving in on you.. and your friends ask you if anything is wrong.. you just don't know how to say it.. because this emotion is undescribable, and takes no shape nor form.

Just when you think you can't take any more of the silent pain that slowly eats at you, chews up your sanity, gnaws at your enthusiasm and tears apart happiness..

There's God..

Every so often I wished I could find another person who was like me.. who understood me.. and experiences it himself/herself..

But God's even better than another mere being of flesh..

Because He's always there.. a soothing presence.. and even though the black mess consumes you.. you know He's there.. and you don't want to let go of Him.. you want Him to take charge, to keep the black mess in control.. to restore order and peace..

He starts at the center.. the core of it all.. and gradually.. slowly.. He pieces it all back together..

And the black mess settles down.. quietens.. and you feel the stillness in you.. the peace that floods every fibre of your being.. and you think.. God.. You're in control of it all..

But now and again.. sometimes the black mess gets restless.. and it comes out of form again.. and although you know in your heart that He's there.. you don't know why He's not doing anything about it..

You don't understand.. You can't see God's ways.. Because they're so much higher than yours..

But I do know this..

It's all for a purpose, and He will lead me out of it all

There's this little article I read recently

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My dog Whitaker and I like to take early-morning walks through the woods. He runs ahead while I amble along, meditating or praying. I know where we're going; he's not sure. I stay on the trail and he trots ahead - sniffing, investigating, and taking occasional forays into the forest to chase real or imagined chipmunks.

Though Whit is ahead, I'm leading. Every so often he checks to see where I am. If I've turned back toward home or gone on to another trail, I hear his pounding feet and panting breath as he races to catch up with me. If I hide behind some brush, he runs to the last place he saw me and tracks me down. Then we walk the trail together again.

It's like that with God's leading. He knows the way because He has prepared the way. But sometimes we may not see Him - so we do our best to go where He wants by following the guidance of His Word. Other times it may seem as if He is hidden from us. His pace may not be as fast as we would like, or we wish He would slow down.

Just as Whitaker keeps looking back at me, we need to look to God and His Word at every important juncture we come to. We must rely on the direction of His Spirit.

_{- Dave Egner}

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No, I am not depressed. I'm just expressing my views =)